Just wanted to say Happy Halloween!!

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... But also, been feeling displaced, out of sorts, like nowhere feels like home...

...Constantly, desperately seeking somewhere quiet, with low lighting, and empty, lacking human energy, even the residual kind...

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When you find yourself unhoused and crashing in someone else’s space, and this is the type of setting you covet most, you are in trouble. I can tell you this from experience.

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But then I remembered something…

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I have a key to a community wellness space (I do marketing and communications for them)

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I have access to exactly this type of space!!


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We assume in these states that it is something prescribed, like yoga or meditation or mindfulness, to work through the toughest stress

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But what I used this space for tonight?

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Stimming.

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Purely uninhibited sensory seeking with reckless abandon to the intense pumping of AFI’s Black Sails Into The Sunset directly into my veins, er, ears.

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It seems sort of childish, to say I feel better now because I put on loud music and spun around the room,

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Letting my hair down and taking up as much space as possible,

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Bouncing on the balls of my feet and pads of my toes,

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Flailing my arms about in the air.

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It is an incredibly soothing and regulating practice for me, that just usually isn't available to me.
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Even housed, I never have this much free space common!

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I have been struggling for days.

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DAYS

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Trying self-care and journaling and all the things, nothing working

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Tonight is Halloween and my boy is trick or treating with his friends solo for the first time and I was feeling a little extra anxiety on top of all the rest,

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And so I set up to meditate and yoga in this lovely space

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But it’s not what I was meant to do here,

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I could hear the floor calling me,

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Sense the pull all over my body

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To get up and dance and take up space and bounce and feel free and unobserved

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This seemingly strange practice
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just shook all these things I didn’t even know were lose back into place

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And all this dust and rust and sediment I had no idea had accumulated, off and away

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I feel a type of renewed I haven’t in a long time.

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And I don’t know, maybe it’s the endorphins from the intense physical activity,

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But I’m pretty sure I have a healthier perspective now,

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one I’d been seeking for weeks!

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How does this help you, Professional Human? This is your invitation, your permission slip, your gentle suggestion - whatever you need it to be: Try something different. Do something silly. Shake it up. You've got this ♥️